Thursday, April 20, 2006

how many groups can i offend

so we have a wee problem here at 4E, the apartment where dreams sometimes go to die. The crapper keeps stopping up. And our pakistani/pseudo-muslim/sikh/shit-in-his-beard-he's-been-growing-since-birth-praise-allah super wont do anything about it, aside from recommending that we don't use toilet paper. the fuck? are we supposed to use corn husks like the fucking indians? fuck that. indians are stupid. who lives in a tent. so gay.

and he doesn't speak english, at least not any english that's pertinent to our situation. i called him when i got locked out in my underwear in the middle of winter for eight hours with my leash-less dog, and the only thing i could make out were the words 'infidel', 'devil's concubine', 'mohammad', 'religion of mercy/peace', etc...

and half the time i cant even log onto my computer because the human colostomy bags that are my neighbors are stealing my internet. lamprey nyu whores. wearing their faggy cowboy boots. eating their vegan food. smoking their goddamn american spirits (even tho they're owned by rjr inc.) because its good for the stupid tent-dwelling indians and their goddamn sweet casinos. i actually dont really have a problem with that part. gambling is like taking a really big shit after a huge dinner, making room for more corn chips and dos XX. its that good.

shit. i forgot black people. thats like forgetting you have hamster in your ass.


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