Wednesday, April 26, 2006

dear fuckwad in the dog park,

did you actually just fashion your leash into a crop and whip my dog with it? no seriously. did you, in fact, just beat my dog? the dog that is mine, and not yours? really? did you hit him? hard? causing him to yelp in pain and run to me and cower under a bench behind my legs? did it make you feel like a Big Man to give a defenseless animal what for?

you, sir, are a sack of shit.

and if you ever touch my fucking dog again i will rip your tiny, cowardly little nuts off and shove them down your throat. im not even a little joking.

im sorry you got ass-raped by your uncle or whatever when you were a kid. but maybe you need to work out those control issues in some kind of therapeutic setting, rather than completing the circle of rage on my dog's butt.

unfortunately for you, i have the day off and im super-pissed. so i have all kinds of time and motivation to print out hundreds of these little guys and post them all over the east village, (along with my artistic rendering of yourself and your dog):

"Beware this man: Slim, Caucasian male, 25-30 years of age with light brown hair wearing a baseball cap, knee length khaki cargo shorts, and a white t-shirt. He has what looks like a 5 lb Bison Frise on a thick rope-like green leash. On 4/26 at approx. 3pm he used this leash to beat another dog in the dog park. he is a complete and total asshole".

violence is never the answer, jackass. public humiliation is.

(except if i ever see you again and come within arms length of your nuts. then violence will totally be the answer).


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