Friday, July 09, 2004

welcome to the bung-hole,

we got fun and games.

or,

that time i got drunk in cancun and woke up with a tattoo on my ass. cliche. meh.

in my 20th year of life, i decided to cash in my meal plan, all $700 of it, and put the money toward one debauched week in spring break-assaulted cancun, mexico. and almost five years later the smell of ramen wafting gently from a dorm room microwave still gives me the vomits. 

despite the food i later endured on my severely limited budget, being an irresponsible asshole gringo for seven days really kicked ass.

partying is a job there. your 'friends' turn into policia in the sense that if they sense you are maybe not as inebriated as they are, they make you eat the worm. the worm is no good. the worm is a real worm in mexico. they dont dick around with the worm. and neither should you.

after the worm thing, i considered body art.  naturally, cancun is an extremely safe and cleanly environment.  so when i saw the tattoo parlor, right next to senor frog's and pj mcHorney's, i was certain i was encountering a sterile environment, and that the 250+ lbs. hairy man behind the counter was a consummate artiste
 
id been wanting the chinese symbol for courage on my boob.  (i cant even believe i just wrote that.  and that its true.  what a dumbass.  needles and boobs dont like each other).  but the hairy fat man didnt have anything like that in his portfolio.  so, considering the options for all of 2 seconds, i cooly selected three symbols he said would roughly represent 'wisdom'.  he then picked up the needle marked 'aids' and stabbed me repeatedly in the back.  cause my boob is for certain not big enough for three symbols.
 
to be continued...
 
*sorry about the aids joke.


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