Saturday, July 31, 2004

how was your day?

well. i cried when i was cleaning out the refrigerator. and then i cried some more when i realized that the stupid mop had already been packed, and fuck knows where. and then i cried when i found it.

i cried when i inadvertently saw a picture of paris hilton's tits in the newspaper. (that's news???). i cried some more when i realized it was, in fact, news. i cried vomiting, sputtering, calf tears when i heard the large noisy train in my new back yard. for five whole minutes. if that happens 2-3 times a day, 7 days a week, and i have to live in this shithole for 12 whole months...well, that's just a whole lot of crying.

i crawled into my brand new spacious closet and choked on large hunks of dry wall, all while weeping uncontrollably in an ergonomically insane rocking motion. because when i tried to take a shower, i realized the drain was deep throating the red-neck hippie hair of the previous tenant. and there were no showers to be had.

and the electricity. let me now expound on that. or not. because there IS NO FUCKING ELECTRICITY. and then i might have cried.

i think i sweat my body weight today. combined with all the gratuitous sobbing, i found it only somewhat interesting that i had not taken on the consistency of a mummy.

and then mummies made me think of my crack-head land lord, who is a complete and utter douche-bag waste of humanity. and a soul-less fuck. i understand that repetition is a fairly annoying literary device. but jesus. fucking. christ. with the CRYING when i found out i have a crack-head for a land lord, and that he has the keys to my house, and that he can come in and smoke his crack on my naked lifeless body whenever he damn well pleases.

that's how my fucking day was.


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