Tuesday, April 27, 2004

homicidal rage. again.

people fucking suck. sorry. no im not.

1. listen, asshole. dont order a sample of a drink, deem it yummy, and then proceed to drink half of it, and then also proceed to tell me it no longer suits your obviously fickle fancy.
2. hey dipshit. that's what samples are for. if you didn't like that fucking sample you should most definitely not have ordered a massive pint of it. asshole. you are so paying for that beer.
3. this is a rule of thumb. so as to never incite me to shove my thumb up your anal cavity. which is bad.
4. if you are so intent upon being on time for that movie, try not to roll into a clearly full and busy restaurant, and then think by telling your server that you are in a hurry, that you will get your food any faster. cause you wont.
5. who the fuck do you think you are to demand that you get your food before people who have waited patiently, and were here before you, just because you have to see 'Gigli' in half an hour?
6. dont get pissed at me cause the three cooks in back cant magically conjure up more fryers or perhaps grow a stove out of their ass. they dont like growing stoves out of their asses. and they most certainly dont like being told by a waitron to do so.
7. did you really just give me a three dollar tip on a $45.00 tab? oh. how gracious of you. allow me to not pay my rent this month.
8. dude. go to the ATM. im not going to split your fucking check 18 ways. thats re-cock-ulous. and i will murder you. murder.
9. yes. you are so right.
10. i know nothing about beer or food. that is obviously why you are displeased with your drink and your pasta. it has nothing to do with the fact that sometimes people have different food preferences. i couldn't possibly enjoy the taste of something you loathe. how silly of me. i should totally be held responsible for that $18.00 entree you ordered.

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