Saturday, February 07, 2004

nature's way of saying 'don't touch'

i'm not sure i want to have chillerens when i grow up. it's not that i wouldn't love to have a slobbering poop machine in my life, (dogs rule), i just don't know if i'm a particularly good candidate for motherhood. more to the point, i don't know if i want to pass on my fractured genes to an unsuspecting little human.

watching my child go through the misery of a broken psyche would guilt me to my grave.

obviously i wouldn't be stupid enough to say some of the dumb shit my elders did. 'lara, have you ever tried, just, like, being happy?', or 'dude, quit crying, there's teepee under the sink'. i like to think i would be sensitive and aware should my child become the depressed, miserable shit-maggot i was for many years.

but i know that's horse ka-ka.

i'm the girl who walks around in a gorilla suit trying to make everyone else laugh and have a good time. i'm the girl who successfully duped everyone into believing all was well and utopia-tastic for 21 years of her life. any tiny monkey of mine would surely be as tricksy. the kid would also burst from the womb with a fully developed set of mad 187 skillz, so i can't say it would be all negativity. does all the fun and good i could pass on outweigh the big bad?

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