Friday, February 13, 2004

my precious

friday the 13th and valentine's day. together in an unholy union.

clearly, this is an omen.

the only sane option is to stay at home for the next 48 hours huddled in a cocoon-like mass of blankets, and to never leave the bed unless refilling the hip flask becomes necessary. which it surely will. to conduct oneself in any other manner seems reckless and irresponsible, as well as a direct challenge to the gods to cut you off at the knees.

then you will be forced to walk around on nubbins for the rest of your life, as a constant reminder of your willful disregard concerning the god's mandate that you spend the next 48 hours piss-drunk and in the fetal position.

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