Sunday, February 08, 2004

bizzare yet entertaining

my dreams have reached epic proportions and startling clarity. like, 'gone with the wind' and shit. i was totally convinced...

FUCKING A. i'm using someone else's computer right now. and that little punk-ass AOL messenger man keeps bleeping every five seconds with some tool being like, 'dude, katie, i know you're there. you're fucking totally active right now.'

for those of you who are not well versed in the various techniques of stalking, through instant messenger, you can actually tell if someone has been away from their computer recently. AOL will even give you a fucking time frame to work with. it also notifies every douche-bag on your buddy list that your back and totally ready to chat if you so much as nudge your mouse. technology = fucking beautiful.

and this is a triumph for pigment impaired, socially retarded stalkers from all walks of life.

unfortunately, it sucks a huge cock when you're trying to write something profound and fabulastic on your personal website that no one reads anyway. because right now there are like, 50 blinking hot pink lights at the bottom of my screen. and i would love to tell all these people to go murder themselves, but i guess that would be kind of rude. seeing as this isn't my computer and all.

but the urge to kill is, in fact, rising. sadly, katie has apparently made friends with quite a few DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS. they won't stop leaving a barrage of comments and causing the offensive pink lights to burn out my retinas. 'why won't you talk to me?', 'I know you're there...cause i'm like, a total fucking stalker' or 'are you mad at me or something?'. it's pretty fucking obvious that these people have never considered the phenomenon of not-katie using the computer.

it is going to be really cool when katie has some explaining to do about shit she doesn't know she did. quite a few of these people are pissed off, for serious. there shall be misunderstandings galore, the likes of which i have not seen since i stopped reading sweet valley high books, and wondering what the fuck a pair of 'chinos' is.

jesus h. tap-dancing christ.


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